An AHA Moment!

Do you have an event in your life that was an AH moment but realize it until years later?

I’d like to share one of my life’s ah moment that I just recently realized was significant.

This event happened in Berlin while visiting my brother, Mark and his wife Barbara on my way through Europe. The year 1970. Mark and Barbara arranged for us to meet up with some of people at a sidewalk café. I love sidewalk cafes. Sitting outside eating good food and watching people walk by, I went to sidewalk cafes all over Europe.

When people arrived we introduced ourselves  and ordered beer. Before ordering dinner someone noticed the bar across the street. We all turned to look.

Right then a group of people walked up to the door, one of them grabbed the door knocker, then the peep hole slid opened. Eyes peered out. We could see them all the way across the street. They only let the women in. Someone at the table construed from watching that it was a lesbian bar. I wanted to go in to see what it was like.  It took some talking to get the other two women to go in with me but finally they agreed. 

The three of us approached the door, I grabbed the knocker “Knock, knock”  The peep hole opened up; I could see eyes looking us over, then it slid shout.  Without a word the door opened.  We stood in the doorway looking down a dark dim lit hallway we could see some light at the end and hear music coming from there. We walked down the hallway, once to the doorway there was the bar room. A little better lit then the hall way, music rang out form where I couldn’t tell, all I could see was women.  Women dancing with each other, socializing, unashamedly kissing, flirting woman to woman.  The three of us were spell bound.  Finally, and I don’t remember who broke the trans, we started talking a little. Still looking around a lot. I started heading for an empty table the two followed me. We sat down. “I’ll buy the first round,” I said and headed for the bar.

Back at the table we were still talking little and looking around a lot. After a while I said, “We should dance together so that no one will suspect we don’t belong here.” Barbara’s friend refused, there was no way she was going to dance with a woman.  Barbara agreed, she was a risk taker.  We walked out to the dance floor; a slow song came on right at that moment.  Women on the dance floor grabbed a partner and started to dance in an embrace as if they were new lovers.  Barbara and I didn’t quite go that far but we did dance in an embrace, chatting some. We were both a little nervous.

After the dance Barbara and I went back to our table. I’ll go get us some more beer the other woman said. We still looked more than we were talked. I for one was distracted by the two women making out in the corner right next to us holding each other in a passionate embrace. Most of the women seemed to know each other. I settled in to a hypnotic presence looking out into the foggy softness of the smokey room; a room that transported me to place I’d had never been to or even dreamed of. 

After a while we walked back out of dark dim lit hallway. The guard opened the door for us and we went back across the street joining our group. One by the one they shot out questions at us about the bar wanting to know what it was like. I didn’t answer thinking about the dream state I’d just walked out of. The other women answered, laughing at it all. I wasn’t laughing I contemplated wandering why I felt so comfortable in there.

Four years later, 1974, I walked into a Seattle gay bar, The Crescent. I was coming out of the closet. As in the Berlin bar I will never forget walking into that bar for the first time. I approached the front door hesitated, and walked in. ID, the bouncer barked at me.

The place was dark. Women at the bar all turned around at the same time to see who had entered. It seems that the lesbian community in Seattle was small enough then that they all knew each other. Someone approached me asking me how long I’d been in Seattle. Four years I answered. Oh the woman said I see you’re just new to this bar.  I felt self-conscious like everyone knew I’d just come out.

45 years after I came out, I started thinking about the bar in Berlin and how comfortable I was there but didn’t know why. It took me that long to realize that it was one of those Ah moments in my life. What event do you remember years later and think that was an ah moment?

 

 

 

 

Compassion at the Boarder

History can give us ideas for the present like the humanitarian move in the United States that brought children from Cuba from 1960 to 1962. I met one of these children as an adult. She shared with me how scared she was arriving in Spokane to move in with a new family.She had mixed emotions on it all.  

This humanitarian move started with Father Bryan Walsh, a priest in the Miami diocese, who worked out a project called Operation Pedro Pan with the U.S. State Department. After the revolution in Cuba Castro started separating children from their families as a literacy campaign. Shortly after this the Cuba government started closing down all the schools, including and especially the private and Catholic schools causing a mass panic. Operation Pedro Pan allowed visa waivers for children 16 or under. This agreement opened the US boarder for more than 14,000 children from Cuba to get visa’s to come to the US without their parents. Now I’m not saying this was easy for the families in Cuba, and especially for the children who left them. I even question the motivation, was it anti-communism motivated? 

Operation Pedro Pan is just one insight in how we can help children and other people showing up at the border. We should also look beyond the media hype because border crossings are much lower than their peak in 2000. The makeup of the people crossing the border is also different, more women and children are trying to enter the United States to seek asylum. Asylum is a legal category and can be hard proof. Back in the 80’s I knew someone from El Salvador who was seeking asylum here in the US, they had been here for ten years and still working their way through the process.

Several years ago I was asked to give a statement on the situation of woman and gays in Mali to be submitted in the case of a lesbian from Mali trying to get asylum status. I know the situation for woman in Mali is grim, I did a lot of work on gender and development when I lived there. This didn’t prepare for me for the lesbian’s statement I read. The fear she experienced I was unaware of. I knew nothing happened without the OK of the men in charge and never challenged this, always following protocol to get things done.

Think about the current situation at the US boarder where thousands of children are coming every day from Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador. These countries are among the world’s most dangerous societies where out of every 100,000 people, the homicide rate is nearly five times what the World Health Organization considers an “epidemic.” People face an insurmountable level of violence, insecurity and lack of economic opportunities. “Join-or-die” gang recruitment policies make life nearly impossible for innocent youth in gang-controlled areas. Business owners face extortion and threats from gangs while corrupt and inadequate policing fails to protect them.

Where is the Christian community in all this? Where is the humanity that people in the US showed the children from Cuba? There are some efforts both in the religious community and at the State Department. But there has been a nearly 20% decrease in U.S. assistance to Central America since 2016. US Foreign aid is supporting vital work that tackles the violence in Central America driving youth to leave their homes while providing security and opportunity to thousands of families in Central America. The US government funded a $13-million program in Honduras and El Salvador that provides job training and employment services to some 5,100-low-income youth living in violent and crime-ridden communities. But this is not enough.

Economic development as well as reaching out to local people who are the grassroots of any community to build capacity for humanity and safety. This is a forgotten strategy even here at home. Local people are the foundation of any society, not the policy makers, not the people with money. Its you and me in our everyday actions with people in our community that set the tone for society.

Covid Vaccinations; What is your experience?

My experience in trying to get vaccinated took me through so many emotions and realizations on the world I live in it was exhausting. This was my experience and I was wondering what yours has been.

First, I heard friends of mine who are in healthcare professions getting their first then their second covid vaccination. Then a friend of mine said she’d gotten an appointment for hers in a couple of weeks. I thought OK I’ll go into my local pharmacy where I get my vaccinations to ask them about getting a vaccination. The person I talked to must have been getting a lot of questions about the vaccinations because she was a bit short with me telling me to keep looking on the website for the latest information. She then turned to a man who said he was in his nineties. I heard him ask about the covid vaccine he got the same information I did. He then explained that he didn’t have a computer and asked what he could do to get an appointment today. She sidestepped the question.

Living in a small community I heard through the grapevine the next Saturday that the pharmacy would open up appointments on Monday when they found out how many doses they were going to receive. Tuesday morning at 3am I got up, went to the pharmacy website to make an appointment. On the covid page they announced that appointments were closed, they announced that 850 appointments were made for the covid vaccination in the coming week.

After this I decided to look around to see where in Western Washington, I could get a vaccine appointment. I found the Washington State Department of Health vaccine website. I clicked on the “Vaccine Phase Finder” form thinking it would lead me to where I could schedule an appointment. This dead ended with a statement confirming I’m eligible for the vaccine under phase 1B instructing me to print the confirmation out and take it to my appointment. Then I found the vaccine location site. The list went on and on county by county. I looked at King, Kitsap, Pierce, Snohomish, Skagit, and Island counties, not finding one place that had an appointment.

I kept trying this vaccine locator site for days, finally found an appointment in Gig Harbor for March 27^th. I didn’t stop there I wanted a vaccination as soon as I could get it. Then a friend suggested I go to Virginia Mason in Seattle, I emailed her back, “I’m on the waiting list.” I kept hearing friend after friend who either had an appointment for the vaccination or got their vaccination. Now I consider myself tech savvy and all this covid stuff is online which normally I don’t have problems with. What am I doing wrong? I decided to call Skagit County Department of Health that seemed more user friendly. The person answered on the third ring. I shared my frustration, went through what I’d tried. She encouraged me to keep trying. She herself went through the different vaccination appointment sites to see what people were running into to get the vaccine. “Its confusing with so many different appointment applications and they change almost every day,” she shared with me. Relieved that I wasn’t crazy, there’s just not enough doses to go around. The vaccine distribution system is being redeveloped every day to make getting appointments easier.

 

Then I heard that two women who are well off and got word from their women’s group in a wealthy neighborhood in Seattle find out where to get the vaccine. Now their qualify but this made me question the qualification criteria. This morning I listened to Democracy Now that addressed this issue. They said “It’s been widely reported throughout the coronavirus pandemic, that Black and Latinx people in the United States have died at higher rates, and new data shows that they are getting vaccinated at much lower rates than white people. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports more than 60% of those vaccinated are white, while just 11.5% were Latinx, 6% were Asian, and just over 5% were Black.

I heard from a friend who works for King County Metro that a day doesn’t go by when a bus driver reports testing positive for covid. I started thinking about all the people who are essential workers, people like teachers, grocery store employees, utility workers, restaurants providing takeout, social service workers such as those that work at foodbanks. I’m not any of these, I can make choices to stay safe with no economic impact.

This made me question my motivation to get a shot at all cost. I live in a small community making exposure to covid a lot less than your average American. Even though I do have a heart disease I am very healthy. My spouse works from home again limiting my exposure. Why isn’t race and economic impact taking into account when in the phases prioritizing vaccinations. These discrepancies proof that there has been little impact after the violence in the year 2020 to the systemic racist and economic bias built into the system. We as individuals, a society and a country still are not willing to take action on racial and economic inequality.

Stay Safe and Spread Compassion in Your Community

Today I struggle at making sense of the armed insurgences. The incident on January 6, 2021 was

not an isolated incident, was not the first right wing action against the federal or local governments. State capitols around the country saw similar armed demonstrations for months before this. These armed demonstrations seemed to be warm ups in a national effort to take control of the country.  All you had to do was listen and read the news to know something was brewing. Here are just some of the hints I found.

As far back as April 2020 an estimated 2,500 people have rallied in Olympia in response to Governor Jay Inslee’s stay-at-home order to limit the spread of coronavirus, defying a ban on gatherings of 50 or more people. These demonstrations continued for months. Tyler Miller, of Liberty At All Hazards and Matt Marshall of the Washington Three Precent both rightwing groups came up the plan called "Legislative Lockdown" and involved people camping outside of the state legislative building in hopes breaking inside.

In December it was reported that the demonstrations in Olympia had become meaner. Left wing opposition forces joined the rightwing demonstrations and taunts between opposing sides turned violent. The number of weapons multiplied. Firearms brought to the Capitol for months which seemed like a symbolic jester were now being pointed and fired to settle scores between political opponents. Saturday December 12^th extremists from both ends of the political spectrum clashed three times in Olympia, at least one person was wounded.

In May 2020 armed protesters dubbed the "American Patriot Rally” went inside Michigan’s state capitol building, tried to enter the floor of the chamber, but were blocked by state police and sergeants-at-arms. Several Michigan legislators wore bulletproof vests. These rallies continued for months culminating in the attempted kidnapping of the Governor.

Death threats by Trump supporters started becoming routine. Starting as far back as May 2020 in Kentucky where rightwing protesters demonstrated against the state’s measures to fight the coronavirus hung an effigy of Governor Andy Beshear from a tree. Protesters at a rally in Salem burned Oregon Gov. Kate Brown (D) in effigy. During the election process both Democratic and Republican Attorney Generals received death threats because of election results.

In Sacramento demonstrations by Trump supporters have gone on for more than two months prior to January 6^th 2021. Repeated clashes came down between far-right groups and counter-protesters that led to violence in the streets of Sacramento. The brawls and beatings that occurred at these weekly protests were instigated by far-right groups like the Proud Boys.

During the certification of states electoral votes Staffers at the Utah state Capitol were ordered to evacuate the building. In Georgia, police escorted Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger (R) to safety as militia members gathered outside the Capitol building in Atlanta.

In Olympia, things heated up when the perimeter of Washington Gov. Jay Inslee’s (D) mansion was breached by a large group of pro-Trump protesters. Inslee was home at the time, the governor and his wife were moved to a safe location.

In Kansas, state police monitored a group of protesters who entered the statehouse in Topeka. The state Highway Patrol said they had no plans to increase security, according to the Topeka Capital-Journal. The protesters later dispersed without incident.

Two Seattle city police officers were at the January 6^th 2021 insurgence on the capitol and have been put on administrative leave. An investigation was opened to look into what their role in the violent mob of President Donald Trump’s supporters that stormed the nation’s Capital. For me this brought these demonstrations close to home.

The story goes on and on from Congress women Lauren Opal Boebert to armed protesters in Seaside Oregon. This will not go away any time soon. This intolerant climate intensifies a new set of moral attitudes and political commitments that tend to weaken our communities, block open debate and tolerance of differences in favor of ideological conformity.

For me it’s important that we resist this hate and join a movement for change with nonviolent actions. We need to reach out to our neighbors no matter what their political believes. In a letter published in Harper’s Magazine signed by 153 prominent artists and intellectuals declared that a new set of attitudes and political commitments have been wedged in our tradition of open tolerance and open debate two important democratic standards. We all need to fight against continuing this “Intolerant climate.”

In the near future our individual actions will set the stage for healing our communities. Maybe we should reach out to our friends, our neighbors and our community to listen and start dialog to find common ground. Publicly show your compassion, caring by reaching out a helping hand to all who need it. And stay safe during these layers of hard times.

New Years Reflections On Hope

 Hope sustains us through hard times. With that thought I didn’t think I could stop my New Year’sreflections with just the past year. I for one am reflecting on the last four years that have been challenging to find “Hope,” day to day.  As I reflected, I wondered what the definition of Hope, was. So, I looked it up in Wikipedia. It says that hope is an optimistic attitude of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes related to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large.

I couldn’t stop my research there. I continued with a google search of hope which brought up all kinds of religious and faith references. That started me thinking what is the difference between hope and faith. What I found was that the difference between hope and faith seems to be based on one’s acceptance of the outcome. Faith is accepting the outcome as the best outcome even if it’s not the outcome you wanted; Hope is an action predicated on uncertainty with optimistic thoughts on the outcome. Our collective action/resistance of the last four years prepared us to act for the changes that took place in 2020 bringing us into a more hopeful 2021.

Hope comes in many different forms. As many of you know I went off to Bangkok to study Human Rights in 2017. When I think about the hope the people I met from all over the world who are actively struggling daily for human rights, I feel blessed. Because of this I have Hope that there are people everywhere making this world a better place. 

I have struggled with hope most of my life. When I started to reflect on when hope started to blossom for me.  Spirit of Hope from Years Past visited me and led me to 38 years ago when I became a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is when I started seeing my life in terms of hope. I don’t want to tell you a hard luck story of the past, I want to build hope with all of you. Hope for a better life every day, and hope for a better world for all people.

Thinking about my personal stories when I acted on optimistic thoughts with uncertainty, I’m sure I could only have done this with hope by myside. Here are the stories I reflected on.  I opened my house to foster kids, teenage girls.  Shortly after each girl was placed in my home, I started knitting a Christmas stocking for them with their name on it.  I didn’t realize at the time but that act of knitting gave hope to the girl that just arrived and to everyone in the family that this girl would be with us and a part of our family when the Christmas holiday came. Today everyone in my family has a stocking knitting for them.

Before I left for the Peace Corps I was nervous.  But I was consoled by my sister and my daughter when they each wrote letters to me as goodbye presents.  My sister, Zoe, gave me so much hope in her goodbye letter and my daughter, Lani, confirmed this in her writing, “I am so proud of you! You have grown and changed so much during my life time and I am very lucky to have you for my mother.”  Getting a vote of confidence like this from my daughter means the world to me.  In Mali every time I read these it gave me hope in the work I was doing and I got teary eyed.

In Mali my friend Koro always was hopeful.  Her and her husband live in a space that is 10X15 divided into two rooms, they have not running water, no electricity, and they struggled and work hard for their daily needs and have very few daily wants.  Koro always said something uplifting to me, encouraging me to continue the work her and I set out to do, as she did her laundry by hand in a plastic tub just outside her front door.  Koro always greeted her neighbors making jokes and laughed.  She taught me hope has nothing to do with money, she taught me hope is about community, hope is about caring and when you care about others that caring comes back to you and fills you with hope.

One day three years ago I was in the check-out line at Costco there was a Muslim woman in front of me, she had forgotten her money and credit card. She walked away from what she wanted to buy with her head down as Costco employees started rolling her cart away to put the food back. The woman behind me asked the cashier how much was the bill and then pulled out her credit card offering to pay for it.  This woman ran after the woman walking away, caught up with her and after a short conversation they hugged then started walking back. The cashier stopped the person rolling the cart away.  I took a deep breath and said out loud “I am going to start crying.”  I gave the women who was paying a big hug and told the other woman to have a good day. I managed to held back tears until I got outside and put on my sun glasses, I cried all the way to my car and then some.  I wasn’t sad I was so full of hope in that moment. 

It’s stories like these that make me think we can get over the damage of the last four years by spreading Hope. We just need to ask ourselves where we get hope and how can we spread that hope to our community and the world.  Hope makes such a big difference in changing things for the better. 2021 for me has an abundance of hope for the future. If we can gather all the ways we have found hope in the last four years we can find the power to change years to come. HAPPY NEW YEAR ONE AND ALL.

PS Thank you to a friend who asked me about this blog and wondered when the next installment would be posted, this was the inspiration for this entry.